hope for the longing

How is it that I’ve only reached the quarter-century mark, and I’m already dried up and worn out? I’ve been Jesus’ child for as long as I’ve been anything else. And I still want to claim that, but I feel like we’re not even acquaintances anymore.

I don’t usually voice these things for the sole reason that I hate sounding melodramatic. They’re true, though, and I don’t know what to do with that. I’m supposed be on fire, passionate, and consumed with Jesus. Instead, I feel… well, nothing, really.

I mean, I love my community, worship music, a good sermon, and theology books just as much as ever before, but my intimate life with Jesus is anything but intimate. It’s like that inner sanctuary that I imagine inside of myself is desolate and abandoned. 

1. I am a writer. This is a part of who I am. If I don’t write, I am betraying myself and the gift God has given me.
2. I spend all day with a baby. I need this.
3. Practice may not make perfect, but it will definitely help me get back into “the groove”. Then, one day, I may write the book I’ve been promising myself.
4. Maybe writing consistently will help me think of more reasons to do so?

Ugh. I am so out of practice.

Wow, full-time mommyhood doesn’t allow for much time to blog. Between diapers, feedings, spit-up, and the constant attention that Elliot is convinced he needs, I am just now—at 7.5 months—getting used to my new life. That said, I am officially back!

As promised, I will now proceed to introduce myself. This is me:

(Note to self: Get eyebrows waxed ASAP. You’re starting to get that Romanian peasant look your mom talks about all the time.)

I am 25 years old, a wife and mother, and I will “one day” finish my degree in Religion. I love desserts, books, doggies, frozen margaritas, coffee shops, Renovatus, and funny things like 30 Rock and Demetri Martin. I have a totally unreasonable and panic-inducing fear of bugs. I hate spelling and grammatical errors (especially those committed by myself).

Hmmm… what else?

My love language is quality time (surely you wanted to know that, right?). My favorite color is golden yellow. Fountain Coke is my crack. I make fun of pop music and the people that listen to it, but I often find myself tuning the radio to 95.1 when I’m driving by myself (I always makes sure to change it back to something suitably intellectual like NPR before I turn off the car).

So, I guess that gives you a decent picture of Beth Belford. Next time: “Why I MUST start blogging more”.

A new blog is overwhelming. So many expectations to meet (mine and yours). Let’s start small.

This is Jackson.

He is a black lab and Great Dane mix. He loves all people, is afraid of flashlights, and enjoys his Kong filled with peanut butter. Jackson is truly the best dog ever, and I love him more than most people I know.

This is Dave.

He’s the best husband a girl could ever dream of having. He cooks, cleans, and brings home the bacon. (I think I’ll keep him.) Dave is awesome, and everyone should have a chance to experience his awesomeness.

In just a few days, there will be a third boy in my life—Elliot Benjamin Belford.

This Friday, July 1st, he will join our family. I can’t wait to meet him, and I just know he’ll be awesome like his dad. Elliot will definitely have a postnatal photo uploaded here ASAP.

There you have it. My boys are the nearest and dearest to my heart, so it seems appropriate for you to meet them first. Maybe next time I’ll introduce myself?